“Everyone can be a father but not everyone can be a DAD. I might not tell you this but I look up to you in a lot of things …. One of those is being a dad”

I woke up to those words of affirmation from my son. I felt the day was complete.

Then a while later, I got this creative from my daughter. She took all the trouble to master all the art and design she could, with a bit of phone apps to create this. Wow.

Being a dad is a huge responsibility. It is going further than siring (fathering) your own. It is about keeping the family together through the good, the bad and the ugly moments and no matter what your child has gone through, you’ve got to be more than a father and help the child pick up the pieces. Of course, this is not without some chastisement.

They say that a father is a son’s first HERO and a daughter’s first LOVER.

Some men die trying hard to keep to this expectation. Whilst the world heavily condemns dead beat dads, little is paid to the attention of fathers who have to surmount the challenges of either being single dads, or being sole bread winners. The struggle to be a model dad is real. The harsh economic times only exercebate the situation further.

Today I know you have received many accolades – never mind some are simple flattery – on this Happy Father’s Day. I will not belabor the point.

Allow me to submit some 3 reflections for you on this day:

• Keep doing your job as DAD. You may not know how much your selfless acts of being dad are impacting not just your biological children, but those foster sons/daughters you have adopted in your life. Their future and destiny is in your hands. Simon Mbevi says that Dad is destiny. Don’t tire in doing good. For generations will be impacted by your dedication. Much as we are duty bound and responsible to be fathers, sometimes the sweat we drop is taken for granted as … after all its your JOB. Pat yourself on the back and say, dad, that was a good job.

• Take time to celebrate YOU. After all the toil, that affirmation, a word to say THANK YOU may be hard to come by. Many a man will cross a crocodile infested river for their family only to come home to a humiliation. The very son/daughter you are risking your life for may be the last one to recognize all you have done for him/her. You may be the uncelebrated hero right at home. Discover the best way to celebrate you. Treat yourself to a gift. Go to the man’s shop and swipe for a shirt you like. Never mind the price tag. Buy that shoe you desire. Go online and order that time piece you only see in the movies.

• Take time out and energize. Discover that squad that is your band of brothers whom you energize and refuel with. There is just this assurance that comes from another man. That encouragement that you got it. Keep doing it. These are the men you should (I should) be most vulnerable to. By all means I am not relegating the place for your spouse. It could be that your spouse is the big mountain you need to conquer! Let these men create safe space for you to vent. Let them allow you to process your thoughts. Let them hold you to account on a plan to get your act together without breaking YOU.

We cannot afford to lose another father today to depression. Where I have goofed, may God allow me the grace to rise up, pick my pieces and sojourn in this journey that is fatherhood.

Fathers, let’s go forward and be DADs to our children today.