The events leading to the demise of Janet Kanini Ikua – a celebrity journo with The Nation Media Group, Kenya – have dealt a big blow to her family, friends and the Kenyan fraternity. The nation is in a state of denial, anger, emotion, confusion … name them. We are all mourning.

Janet had assured all of us that she is well. That she was going to live 120 years to see the boyfriend to her daughter and off-springs to the fourth generation. Janet had just overcome the battle with … the C-word.

We all believed her and were reassured that this is testament of God’s grace and that miracles do still happen. In fact, in one of the interviews on one leading show on Nation TV (#theTrend), she was so bubbly and good looking that you would need to be told that she is a cancer survivor.

Yet the most touching tale of the Ikua’s was the live interview on another of NTVs show (#ChurchillShow https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWtJEOPXOeE ). This is when we heard of the nerve wrecking experiences through the hospitalization. The story of George Ikua – husband to Janet.

You need to be a caregiver for a patient in critical care to know the burden of pain that George was going though. What was to be a quick medical checkup at the medical facility in India turned to be hospitalization for 7 weeks! I recall in the interview that when the doctors confirmed the dreaded news that Janet was having cancer, it was the hardest thing for him to do. As a caregiver, you have to be strong. You can’t crack because the whole “thing” would crumble!

3 observations from the experience of George through the hospitalization and care of Janet:

1. Provision – despite the pain that your loved one is going through, you have to hold your strength and be the sole and soul provider. The beneficiaries around you still need you. Don’t crack. Hold on. Do not hesitate to take a helping hand through the turmoil. Being man enough doesn’t mean you can’t be helped even with household basics. As a man, I need to be brave to say, there is no food in the house and I need help! But truth is this, I can only reap as much as I have sown. Invest in community. Be good. Be kind. For on a day when it doesn’t shine, those whom you have done good to will come through for you.
2. Protection – for some reason, when in critical care, there gets to a point when too much information to the children is not helpful. Yet little or no information is not helpful either. It is a tight balance to help the young children be part of the journey. Ask God for the special wisdom to manage information flow. I have come to appreciate the place for a spokesperson. For George, it was the wisdom of Skyping the kids to update on mum’s progress, whilst at the same time controlling those who would visit the house.

3. Reality Check – God has given the woman this ability to have faith that is beyond imagination. When my son was 6 days comatose with little likelihood of recovery, my mind raved into an out of body experience for quite a while. I started seeing things beyond the hospital and what would be the scenarios at play. Yet my wife took things with such simplicity. Whilst I was processing the hard news of what the doctor had told us, Emily simply said, let me go express so that baby can have his daily ration! When do you stop to weigh into some reality checks and make necessary preparation for likely scenarios? I consider myself a man of faith so don’t misconstrue this to mean giving up.

My prayer for George Ikua – May the peace of God, the strength unthinkable and love unimaginable be upon you through this season.