The week that ends has had a splash of horrendous happenings – love triangles. We have seen the epitome of a love relationship between a young, sassy, beautiful and brained lass cut short courtesy of her estranged lover.

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Ivy Wangeci – rest well. To the family, friends and comrades, my deepest condolences. Nothing justifies the loss of life. Absolutely nothing. For 28-year old Naftali Njahi Kinuthia to murder his childhood friend and 6^th year medical student on ground that she did not love him, I am left but lost for words.

In 2017/18, the word on the streets was SLAYQUEEN. Who knew of Femicide in Kenya up until Ivy’s death?

I am reminded of Former Lang’ata Women’s Prison beauty queen Ruth Kamande who, in 2016, was sentenced to death for killing her boyfriend, Farid Mohammed earlier in 2015. In the sentence, Justice Jessie Lesiit ruled that, “In my view, the discretion to pass a sentence other than death in capital offences should only be exercised in deserving cases. I do not find this a deserving case and I think passing any other sentence than the one prescribed would turn the accused into a hero. I want young people to know that it is not cool to kill your boyfriend or girlfriend even where you feel disappointed or frustrated – don’t do it. Instead, it is cool to walk away and thereafter to forgive”.

There are many stories out there that we can serialize. But these two will suffice for this treatise.

As a father of a daughter and sons, I have every obligation to listen to both channels of the story.

A couple reflections from social media:

• Comedian Jalang’o (@Jalangoo) on IG had enough trolls to pull down his “distasteful” post which read in part, “I think it is time we became honest with each other. Too many young beautiful girls are dying some of the saddest deaths you cannot wish for someone’s daughter. It is time we discussed this issue. Rule [number] one: No man gives a woman anything for free. Yes, I said it. Men, can we tell them this? [Girls], even your dad takes you to school so that at old age; and when he cannot provide for himself, he will depend on you….“My daughter, if you decide to live [a lifestyle] which is beyond your parents’ provision ability, then be ready to pay the price that the person financing your lifestyle would ask”
• Steve G. Mbuthia (@steve.g.mbuthia) of Endeavour Connections Ltd on his FB wall says, “#ConversationsOverAHotCupOfCocoa … This was a tough conversation to have. News about IVY WANGECHI’s murder still fresh in my mind, I looked at my daughter who is just a few years from starting her university journey; we needed to talk … We begun a conversation last night…We talked about IVY and the others who have died in the hands of men and boyfriends; We talked about the fact that NO man has the right to impose himself and insist on a friendship with her; We talked about violence and that NO MAN is allowed to raise a hand against her; and that anyone who would dare would have to deal with me. That as her father, I will always be there and she can talk to me about anything she’s going through. We talked about values that will define friendships in her life. I shared with her that there is no acceptable reason or excuse for any Man to raise a hand against a woman … I looked at her brother and appreciate now more that ever that my role to raise him to become a Man who will honour, respect and value the ladies in his life. That my son will grow up to be a Man of Value and a role model in his generation …”

Here are my personal reflections:

1. I have responsibility to care and affirm my daughter and sons. That way, they will grow knowing what to expect from a man (my daughter) and of a man (my sons). Nothing less than being present and providing will help these little ones grow with confidence.
2. I have to go back to the good book. The bible encourages me to train up my child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Prov 22:6). There is simply the place for training up and modeling what our children should be.
3. And when it’s all said and done, I have to show real LOVE and PROVIDE for the needs of my children. Abdication of responsibility will only make my children susceptible.
4. On matters dating, we need to let our children understand the basic tenets of courtship and dating. Daughter, “what should you be looking for in a man? Why pursue the 6-pack and loose your soul my dear? Be content with who you are. When he tells you that you are so cute only to trap you into his endearments, run and remind him that dad already told you so.” To my son, “if she says no, its okay. Mourn your losses. Call a friend. Go for a paintball thrill or play a game on PS4. Take a hike and release the pressure. Don’t do something silly!”

Do your part and let God.